That day, Grandma accompanied Grandpa as he set off to regroup in the North. It was wartime. As they crossed a bridge with powerful floodwaters rushing below, she was afraid and gripped the hand of the man who was the family's pillar.
When the time came to part, no one could predict anything in war. Perhaps bad news would arrive today or tomorrow, and they would never see each other again. Yet their eyes met with longing, their feelings full of attachment and emotion… Whether or not it was spoken aloud, their hearts held something like a promise to meet again… “I will return” and “I will wait.”
He set off. Her heart was heavy with sadness: on the outward journey, a steady figure had been beside her, but on the return she was alone and silent. Tears falling, she returned to the children waiting at home…
By the Vệ River, Dad was then just a little boy playing innocently and carefree, as children his age do. He had no idea that his father would leave for a long time, with no knowing when he might return.
The night before leaving, Grandfather gathered the family and told Grandmother to make sure Tám — my father — stayed healthy, and to ensure that Tám and Tỷ — my father's biological older brother, Uncle Bảy, immediately above him in age — received an education and grew into good people.
She followed his instructions… Though she had to do every kind of farm work, make rice wine, raise pigs and sell each jackfruit, bundle of vegetables and bunch of leaves, she spent frugally and saved to educate the children. She faced countless hardships and uncertainties. Because the family had ties to the Revolution, she was imprisoned for months. Years later, she was imprisoned again, brutally interrogated and beaten. Then she endured losing the daughter she loved so deeply.
She overcame everything.
Dad and my uncle finished secondary school, passed baccalaureate 1 and baccalaureate 2, and went on to university and postgraduate studies.
Of course, Grandma's savings were not enough for Dad and Uncle to study in the city, but she instilled the will, resilience, and determination to pursue education and become useful people. Dad and Uncle tutored while studying to cover expenses. Dad also started from nothing and managed to open the Descartes exam preparation center in Saigon, which earned a good reputation and attracted many students. One of Dad's teachers was busy and asked Mom to substitute. That is how Dad met Mom there. They later became husband and wife.
From being poor children herding buffalo by the Vệ River, Dad and his older siblings received a full education, became successful, and grew into useful, influential, and ethical members of society.
Grandmother fulfilled her promise.
And Grandfather?
He was gone for a long time: 1 year passed without his return, then 2 years, then 3…
Then 5 years…
Then 4 times that number…
Plus 1 year.
Only 21 years later could he return.
Having survived the war, he returned to Grandma. The family reunited: husband with wife, father with children, brother with siblings. After 21 long years, Grandpa still made it back to Grandma. At the first family reunion, he spoke slowly, simply, and beautifully: ‘The best thing is that North and South are reunited as one family. Vietnam's mountains and rivers are united again. We can live independently and freely, without worrying about fighting enemies anymore.’
Then he gently patted her shoulder and said, ‘This is the hero.’ She had raised and educated their children in his place, overcoming so many uncertainties and hardships in life.
It was the day of reunion. Grandfather had survived the war and returned. And…
Grandfather had fulfilled his promise.
Later, he passed away, and then she did too, gently sinking into eternal sleep. Those were days of parting. Before dying, he told the children: ‘I have no property to leave you, only an unblemished Party membership card and the ethics of being human. Please strive to preserve both.’
Dad and my uncles fulfilled their promise. They had nothing to be ashamed of before their father.
Later, Dad developed cancer. When I learned he was ill, I tried hard to hold back but still burst into tears. Dad placed his hands on my shoulders and said, ‘Do not worry, my friend. One way or another, I will make it to your wedding.’
It was not until 8 years later that I had my wedding. At that time, Dad had cancer and then contracted dengue fever right before the ceremony, requiring hospitalization. Yet he slipped out of the hospital and appeared at the ceremony looking wonderfully cheerful, giving an exceptionally clear and eloquent speech. No one knew he was carrying 2 illnesses at the time, and the family was utterly surprised when he appeared. After the party, he returned to the hospital to remain under observation, facing the dangerous phase of dengue fever.
Dad fulfilled his promise to his son.
It was not until 5 years after that celebration that Dad passed away.
You fulfilled your promise more than wonderfully, Dad, giving us a whole 5 “bonus” years.
When I started my business, I did not complete my University of Technology degree, although I was among the best in my Systems Engineering class—Industrial Engineering, the same field as Tim Cooks, Apple's current CEO. My program's supervising teacher once sat with me privately, perhaps simply to encourage me to continue, and said I was 1 of the 2 most capable students he had seen in the program's history. He urged me to finish and stay to help him teach. I gained the mindset, skills and tools and remain grateful to the discipline, but did not take the degree. To this day, I have never earned even 1 dong through a university diploma. Yet I have never told anyone that university is unimportant.
Dad supported me in starting a business, but when he saw that I had no university degree, I sensed he was a little sad. He did not pressure me, but once I heard him say at the ancestral altar that he had promised my grandparents he would educate me through a university degree. That weighed on my mind.
Then I felt no restriction or loss of freedom. I had always lived freely and for myself. Now I chose to live responsibly, with voluntary responsibility rather than constraint. It is strange that people live with many binding responsibilities and only want freedom, while I had lived freely and wanted to choose responsibility. A few years later, I quietly enrolled in a university program.
That took me the next 6 years, because I had to run a business, do many other things, attend to family matters, study, and take exams all at once.
And then, 1 year before my father died, he held my university diploma in his hands. He was pleased, happy and congratulated me.
Dad has “fulfilled” his promise to our ancestors.
And I, too, fulfilled my “promise.”
In his final months, when posting reflections on Facebook, Dad often ended with: “I love and miss you so much, Father,” or “Writing this makes me miss my mother so much.” Though separated for many years, my grandparents always remained in Dad's heart.
On the day you passed away, Dad, you finally reunited with Grandpa and Grandma. It was a day of parting, but also a day of reunion.
We will fulfill the promises we made to you, Dad. Be at peace and joyfully continue your journey.
Today is Vu Lan, and I miss you very much, Dad. The rose pinned to my shirt is now pink. But I will see you again later; I still have much to do before then.
I write this to close the period just passed, then I will change my profile picture back. But I always remember you, Dad, and carry you in my heart as I continue the journey.
I love you, Dad. I miss you so much.
Whenever you want to find Dad, it is easy: just look up at that blue sky. Wherever there are clouds, there is Dad.
We are always walking alongside one another.
