Every time little Max visited, Grandma soothed, cared for, hugged, and kissed him, calling him her “little treasure.” Max was also very happy to see his great-grandmother, smiling brightly and loving to bring her milk to drink. Later it was the same with Mana: whenever she saw Mana, Grandma was always very mindful in that moment, being with her and playing with her.
Years ago, when my maternal grandparent was healthier, they often listened to the radio. One day they told me they frequently heard my interviews, often rebroadcast, and followed every one. Only then did I realize I had a wise ‘fan’ watching over me: my grandparent.
I remember when my maternal grandparent was nearly 90, a grandchild challenged the whole family: ‘What can you “đánh” (hit) without causing pain?’ Everyone stared blankly for a few seconds, wondering why they could not think of the answer. Within those few seconds, my grandparent answered, ‘Đánh răng—brushing your teeth.’ Little Bo shouted, ‘That’s riiiiight!’ Everyone laughed, admiring my grandparent’s mental sharpness.
In the final days of life, my maternal grandparent usually lay or sat in one place rather than moving around…
And now that Grandma is no longer there, it feels so empty…
She is one of the very few most independent, courageous and resilient women I have ever known in this world. Grandmother is hardly afraid of anything; even “demons and spirits” probably have to “respect” her :- )
My maternal grandparent also departed according to plan, at age 92, with many descendants living stable, fulfilled lives of their own. They had done what they needed to do and learned every lesson required in this human lifetime.
When she was young, Grandma was courageous and always lived with her back straight (even at 92, her back was still perfectly straight). As she grew a little older, she became a little more demanding and sometimes gave her children and grandchildren headaches, but she remained “tough,” capable, and independent. In her final years, she seemed to have attained enlightenment, like a fairy: gentle, clear, and free from attachment.
The qualities my maternal grandparent carried in this lifetime were independence, self-mastery, courage, and wisdom.
The great lesson Grandma integrated in this lifetime is that 1 coin has 2 sides.
Of these, 1 side is called “forgiveness,” and the other is called “compassion.”
In the final years of my maternal grandparent’s life, looking into those eyes, you would know that their consciousness had let everything go—all the matters and people to which they had once been attached. Only love and nobility remained until the final moments (just like Dad Doanh; the first book he gave me was ‘Noble Souls,’ in 1997). The essence of ‘forgiveness’ is ‘compassion.’ Seeing the bigger picture, we understand that there is no such thing as ‘forgiveness’ in this world; everything that happens needs to happen to bring balance to everything.
So the other side of that coin, which is the true essence of ‘forgiveness,’ is ‘compassion.’
My maternal grandparent carried everything in their compassionate heart to the blue heavens and has reunited with many familiar loved ones.
Because through that compassion, a major lesson in this lifetime, Grandma's soul has evolved further, and her next journey will be even more beautiful. If you understand the truth about death and its beauty, you will grieve less. You will still feel emotions, but you will be happy for our Grandma, who lived to 92, passed away so gently, peacefully, and serenely, and had a simple (during Covid), civilized yet loving funeral. She had done what needed to be done, forgiven, practiced compassion, learned great lessons in life, and evolved further—a truly wise soul, with a beautiful journey still ahead.
And live well, cherish this life, love yourself, and take good care of yourself. Live well, because you will certainly meet your loved ones again someday, and then you will be able to smile, stand tall, and hold your head high when you see them. And they will smile too, knowing that you loved yourself in the right way. Everyone will meet again; live well so that when we do, we can all be proud of that.
My maternal grandparent passed away on 6.8, and this morning, 9.8, the family completed the coffin-moving ceremony at Phúc An Viên cemetery, District 9.
May Grandma depart peacefully and transition well. We love and cherish you deeply.
