They were lines of crooked writing, letters large and small, not in straight rows… In the last days of his life, my father's hands shook. Even breathing was a challenge for him, so how could he write easily and comfortably? Even speaking was difficult for him, and he could not make a sound, although his mind remained extraordinarily clear and lucid.
He carefully recorded these lines, tracking the amount of urine from each kidney draining into collection bags through two tubes leading from his kidneys to the outside. The hospital used this treatment because of the specific nature of his cancer and several severe complications it caused.
He recorded the volume of urine, the blood mixed into it, his blood pressure and body temperature. He clearly recorded specific dates and times and monitored them continuously and regularly. Other people took the measurements; he wrote them down himself. That was true to my father’s character: self-reliant since childhood, rarely troubling anyone else. Whatever he could still do, he always took responsibility for doing it.
The final page of notes was written about… 2 days before he died. Even just 2 days before then, he still showed great resilience, keeping careful records without missing a single entry and following exactly the instructions he had agreed upon with the doctor.
It was heartbreaking and deeply moving to see that sheet of paper, with places that had been slightly wet and dried again. Those handwritten lines were the last Dad left in this world. At the time, even writing a single word was difficult for him. Looking at those clearly and systematically written lines, I felt such love for him. Those words conveyed a profound Lesson: The Will to Live!
Even knowing he would soon die, Dad never gave up. He remained clearheaded and arranged treatment options until the very last moment.
“Dad did not give up. He learned his Lesson to the very end. And he was a truly outstanding student. The Universe must be proud of you, Dad!”
Is that clinging to life and fearing death? Is it holding on to life, being attached to living and afraid to die? Not at all!
Because a few days earlier, Dad had already agreed on his will with the family.
On one hand, Dad fully accepted his life's program and faced Death. On the other hand, he never gave up on his life, always valuing and cherishing it. Because life is a gift from God. Thus, suicide is not good for the soul's evolution. As for Dad, he cherished his life until the very last moment… until the very…
… the final breath.
And that is what this Universe wants. That is also the Will of God.
Do not give up on life easily.
Life itself is God.
Death is also God.
Do not turn to Death to reject Life.
Value Life without clinging to living or fearing death.
Cherish Living until the final moment, peacefully pass through Death, move toward the Light, and return to everlasting Life.
Thanks a lot for your beautiful lesson, Dad.
For your Birthday today. Happy birthday, Dad, April 6!
And it is also Mom's birthday—Dad and Mom share the same birthday today!
We Love You!
TMT.
